Alienate

Well, I guess at the end of the day I do feel a sense of being an outcast somewhat. I know it's been more or less bugging me since yesterday.

I'm so glad I have you with me. The happiness I get when I'm with you is indescribable..

Work wise. Am absolutely moody about it. There're so many hiccups here and there, so many things I don't know. And don't know who can help.. I'm definitely desperate for an income. All the sheets of paper that come in are just paper and have stopped meaning anything to me when they're not converted into dollar terms.

Maybe I've been too spoon-fed in life I don't know how to go out and get my own help. I'm trying... But I need to be handheld at times. Not just in soft skills, but also in that crazy amount of paperwork.

After speaking to Tristan the other day I somehow feel I might just be happier following his path. I don't really know where all that determination has gone to...

Just as an overall summary. I guess I'm feeling pretty down and feel like I'm carrying alot of baggage. I feel pretty useless to still be taking an allowance at this age. When can I even fulfil my own dream of getting a bike.. Much less a car, flat, acceptance..

Baby I miss you so much... Want to be safe and secure in your arms right now :(