逃避。。 离开。。

Really need somewhere to run away to, to leave reality behind. How should I proceed from here?

My dreams

I want to set out to fulfil my dreams... The dreams I had before I met you... But they have become so interwoven with you, even those don't make me happy anymore. I think I shouldn't have talked so much, shared too much. Help me help me....

Happiness and Misery

I don't know what can make me happy again. I don't know what happened, is happening and going to happen. Why was I robbed all of a sudden? Probably just a month ago I could foresee a lifetime of happiness with you. Now... I can't even feel it when I'm beside you. Happiness just walked out and misery came in. Pain pain go away. I have learnt - Don't ever love anyone more than yourself. Don't ever do things for others that you won't even do for yourself

Work

An urge to get out of this shit hole....

Food for thought.. Since I'm not hungry

Just heard this... 'it takes years to build a relationship'. Is 1.5 yrs really enough? Hmmm

I wish seeing u would stop making me so happy....

A simple phone

Suddenly I recalled the days of hunting around for a phone that can allow me to use a headphone to talk to u... Such simple thoughts pierce me real deep.

退后

我们两个都没有错，只是忘了怎么退后。现在，还来得及吗？ 越想要掌握，拥有，活得越不自在。一个梦想就这样改变了我们。也许希望自己重要点儿。事实摆在眼前的时候，有点措手不及，不知该怎么反应。伤心，眼泪，也许是爱一个人的过程，最终希望结局是笑口满面。 会是你吗？

Can't control my feelings

I just can't control my feelings. One moment up, one moment down. I really hope to one day find peace with myself.. Such a tough life, is it worth living? Every tear, is it worth crying? Every smile, how long does it last? You're the source of my happiness and my pain. When do we fight to hold on to happiness and when do we decide to let go of pain? Wish vs reality. Are we really suitable? What will the future hold?

What's bugging me?

I'm not sure how to begin this post and not sure how it is going to end. I feel the need to be secure in a r/s, the need to feel wanted, the need to feel like I'm part of the life of my partner, the need to be the one he or she would like to share things with.... and I guess all of these are lacking in my current r/s Is it me really asking too much? Or you reluctant to share? While it may have seem easy for me to open up and be the person I am today, it's a huge step for me and person I am today never was the person I was. Questioning? Reporting? I've never wanted any of those. What I want is sharing. To share the good times, the funny times, the bad times. I don't want to always be kept in the dark of what is going on. You said you would never lie to me... I believe that, because you hardly even say anything to me. I'm not sure why I'm not the person you would want to share your day with. Don't even see what's wrong in asking you who you're meeting. It's such a simple straight forward question with no hidden agenda and yet you can't answer me. The outburst yesterday... It's not that I don't want to give you your space. It's not that we must meet all the time. It's just that it has come rather sudden to me that you are suddenly packing your weekends with all activities except me. And you said it has always been like that... Really? Have we really spent so many weekends apart? Besides the sudden-ness, I guess what's really bugging me is that you're gonna disappear for an entire weekend and I will never get to know what you've been up to. Again, I'm not asking for a report, just wishing to know what you've done over the weekend. All plain and simple and I get suspected of being suspicious and not giving you space. You want to know what's on my mind and I can't know yours. You'll ask me who I'm meeting but I can't ask you. I really have no idea how I'm going to go on like this. I realise love really has no way of conquering all things practical and cannot see me through the day-to-day operations of a r/s. I feel miserable...

The person worth your tears, will never make u cry..