What's bugging me?

I'm not sure how to begin this post and not sure how it is going to end. I feel the need to be secure in a r/s, the need to feel wanted, the need to feel like I'm part of the life of my partner, the need to be the one he or she would like to share things with.... and I guess all of these are lacking in my current r/s Is it me really asking too much? Or you reluctant to share? While it may have seem easy for me to open up and be the person I am today, it's a huge step for me and person I am today never was the person I was. Questioning? Reporting? I've never wanted any of those. What I want is sharing. To share the good times, the funny times, the bad times. I don't want to always be kept in the dark of what is going on. You said you would never lie to me... I believe that, because you hardly even say anything to me. I'm not sure why I'm not the person you would want to share your day with. Don't even see what's wrong in asking you who you're meeting. It's such a simple straight forward question with no hidden agenda and yet you can't answer me. The outburst yesterday... It's not that I don't want to give you your space. It's not that we must meet all the time. It's just that it has come rather sudden to me that you are suddenly packing your weekends with all activities except me. And you said it has always been like that... Really? Have we really spent so many weekends apart? Besides the sudden-ness, I guess what's really bugging me is that you're gonna disappear for an entire weekend and I will never get to know what you've been up to. Again, I'm not asking for a report, just wishing to know what you've done over the weekend. All plain and simple and I get suspected of being suspicious and not giving you space. You want to know what's on my mind and I can't know yours. You'll ask me who I'm meeting but I can't ask you. I really have no idea how I'm going to go on like this. I realise love really has no way of conquering all things practical and cannot see me through the day-to-day operations of a r/s. I feel miserable...