Moving forward, Thinking backwards

I wonder if after time, when we look back, the memories will seem more bitter/sweet then they actually are. More important than they actually were. I am blessed because I was loved by you.

To you

I'm leaving for the wkend. Prob I can't talk to u everyday for these few days. I'll miss u.

I thought I was on the road to recovery. I thought I could bring myself out of this. But right now I have relapsed. And I need you real bad.

Will u just spend one night with me?

Dear sunshine

You once left me a note saying u were 3.7km, 5mins, a phone call or an SMS away. Does it still hold true?

I woke up feeling really empty today...

I thought I was on the road to recovery.... Till tonight....

Present me, Future me

Was reading back on my last posts.. Chanced upon the one I wrote to Futureme.. Not much had gone the way I wished it to happen. Many things have changed. The past me was very optimistic and everything I hoped upon Futureme was an upward spiral from where I was. I can't remember what it was like when I made those wishes. Presentme can't make any hopes on Futureme anymore. But hopefully one day I can again... I know I need to walk out of this. Bruised and scarred I will be.... But I've got to learn to live with it.

I think I learnt that having a best friend as a lover isn't so great an idea. Because when the time comes when you really need her the most, she can't be there for you

Unbearable nights ya...

Pain

In this past years, I've been jealous, insecure, irritated, fustrated... But the most painful of all is now, letting go... Smiles don't come easy... We have to earn it :)

Recovery

I've come some way in dealing with the emotions. But it's not enough yet. Still, a pat on my back for the small progress made :)

Do wonder how long it will take though. NZ trip is coming up... 加油吧!

Why are you feeling what you're feeling?

Today someone asked me that qn. Why do we feel a certain way almost instantly? It seems like we do not think why, whether we should, does it help the situation, when we feel a certain way.

But maybe that's the spontaneity of feelings.